The Littlest Star

Have you ever wondered "how it really went down"? Christmas, I mean. I love thinking about it. We put these stories on a pedestal or don't think about them at all. The details, the tiny pieces that come from being built on the experiences of humans like you and me. I've long since thought about writing a short story about this piece or that piece of the story of Christmas, but I never have. So this year, I'm going to try something different. I'm going to write a couple journal entries throughout the next week. Just short little expos that will hopefully get you thinking. Get your imagination working. Because it's fascinating when you really start thinking about it.

Note: I just finished writing this piece and a it's a very rough draft. I'm not even going to edit it, because it's an exercise in creativity and I just had fun with it. Anyway, enjoy!



The Littlest Star

Once upon a time, many years ago, God created the heavens. And in the darkest night, he set up the Night Sky Council. Every night, under the guidance of the silver moon, the stars would glisten like diamonds. Some stars were brilliant and bright and they would light up the sky with their dazzling light. Other stars were dimmer or further away. Still other stars were not stars at all, but distant planets that shone in shades of red or orange. Every star had a purpose and a place, and every star took pride in its role.

Whenever a sailor or traveler looked up into the night sky, he looked first to the brightest stars, which had special names and stood out like beacons. Then he would look to the dimmer stars, gathered together in constellations, and the turning and location of these constellations could tell him where he was and where he needed to go. Even the color-tinted planets could tell the traveler about the seasons and the weather to come. In this way, every object in the sky had a purpose and a job.

But there was a tiny star that God had hung high in the heavens. This star was not bright and sparkling, nor was it close enough to be a part of any constellation. It was not even a special color like the distant planets. It had no role and this made the littlest star very sad. The other stars and planets looked down on the tiny star and they left him out of their gatherings, for he had no purpose. Sometimes, the older and wiser stars would try to help, telling the tiny star what he needed to do to grow up big and bright, or how he needed to become part of a constellation. Sweet Venus even offered advice to the tiny star about how to become red or orange like a planet. But none of this advice worked and over the years, all of the heavenly beings finally gave up on the littlest star. Cold and alone, the star sat in his corner of the sky, completely forgotten.

One day, the littlest star was visited by the leader of the Night Sky Council - the silver moon herself. With her was a young man with bright eyes and a kind smile. She introduced the young man simply as "the Son".

"Sun?" The littlest star asked, eyeing the young man, skeptically. "You sure don't look bright enough to be the sun."

The man laughed, a gentle chuckle, and sat down next to the star. "Not sun, Son."

"Oh," The littlest star still didn't quite understand, but he let it drop. Either way, he didn't understand why this kind man was here, talking to him. But when he turned to ask Silver Moon, she was gone!

"What is the matter, little one?" The man asked.

After a moment, the star blurted out his questions, "Why are talking to me? There are lots of brilliant stars out there. And stars that have constellations and planets in shades of red and orange. I don't have a purpose in the heavens. That's why I'm here, in this corner, and no one talks to me."

The man was silent for a long time before replying. "Well, little one, I do not need a brilliant star to light up the sky like a beacon for me. And I do not need to read the constellations to tell me where I am or where I am going, or the red and orange-tinted planets to tell me about the weather and seasons. Those stars and planets, they are for the people below, on earth. You, however, were not placed in the heavens for that purpose."

"I don't have a purpose," the littlest star protested, but the man shook his head.

"You will. Do you believe in God?"

"Of course," The littlest star looked startled, "He created me."

"Do you believe in me?" The man asked next.

"Well… yes. But I don't understand who you are."

"Neither do they," the man replies. "But they will. And so will you. Simply shine. Shine for me, alright?"

"Okay…" But the littlest star was even more confused than before Silver Moon had arrived with the man.

Sometime later, long after the man had left, there was a disturbance in the night sky and the littlest star went to investigate. When he found that Silver Moon had called for a meeting of the Night Sky Council, he went to Sweet Venus to find out why.

"The Son is gone!" Venus replied, distraught.

"Gone?" The littlest star was shocked, remembering the man who had sat with him and talked with him. "Where has He gone?"

"Down to earth," Venus replied. "And Silver Moon says it's our job to lead the world to Him."

"Oh." The littlest star frowned. "Well, that should be easy. I mean, the brightest stars can light up the night sky and the constellations can tell the world where they are and where they are going. And you can help, too."

But Venus shook her head. "No, little one. God has placed us in the heavens to guide men through the world. We do not have the power to light the way to Emmanuel."

"Then who will find Him?" The littlest star asked, distraught.

"We do not know," Venus said with a sigh. "And night will come soon, and then the Son will be born…"

The littlest star sighed and thought about this while the other stars and planets despaired. Suddenly, the thought struck the littlest star and he lit up, "I know! I'll find him!"

The other stars looked skeptical. "You?" They asked. "What can you do?"

"I can shine," The littlest star replied, stubbornly. "I can shine for Him!"

The other stars grumbled, but Sweet Venus silenced them, "Let the little one try," she told them. "We've nothing to lose." Reluctantly, the other stars agreed, and Silver Moon gave the littlest star an encouraging smile. "Just remember," she told him, "All you have to do is shine for God, and shine for the Son. You can do that, because God made you and you are special."

"Right! I'm special!" The littlest star told himself "And I will shine! Because the world needs to meet the Son!" With a fierce determination, the tiny star left his corner of the night sky while it was still early evening. He found three men, students of the stars. "Here goes nothing!" And screwed up his face and shone as brightly as he could. Startled, the men noticed the strange brightly shining star and they determined to follow it to where it led. And so the now-not-so-tiny star led the wise men to a small town of Bethlehem. And when, that night, the little star looked down upon the baby Jesus, he couldn't help himself. He shone so brightly that the entire sky was lit up and everyone who looked up stood in awe of this mysterious star and the baby that it shone for.

From that day forward, the not-so-tiny star was known by all as the Star of Bethlehem, and the only one who ever again called him "little one", was the Son. But that was okay, because the star could remember when the Son was little, too.

Bethlehem Star, Ray Boltz

When God created the heaven and earth
He said let there be light
And a million shining stars appeared
On the canvas of the night
They all declared the glory
Of the Father up above
But only one star led the way
To His greatest gift of love

CHORUS:
Bethlehem star How beautiful you are
Shining in the darkness
Guiding strangers from afar
As your light fills the heavens
His love fills my heart
So shine for me my Bethlehem star

Confessions of a Student

First of all, let me be frank. I was raised a rich little white girl. Okay, not exactly rich, but we certainly weren't lower class (and I use that term purely economically). I went to public schools in a nice-sized school district. You know, the kind of city that is neither one-horse-town, nor urban inner-city. I moved around as a kid, but I spent my entire high school at one school in the midwest. Yes, we had minorities in my school and in my classes, but there wasn't any major issue with discrimination. Nevertheless, none of my close friends were minorities. I had a nice, safe, group of euro-american (which I'm told is the new politically correct term) friends. In college, it was the same. I had a great support network - all euro-american girls. And here's where my confession comes in - subconsciously, a lot of that was my doing.

African Americans make me nervous.

They are flamboyant, extroverted and self-assured. If something's on their mind, they say it. There is an unspoken culture that reveals itself when African Americans come together, one that I have never seen the inside of. So, yes, it makes me nervous. That does not mean I look down on the culture or the race AT ALL. It means, rather, that I am nervous because I don't know how to act around them. And so I never feel like I can fit in with them. In the end, it simply is not the social web that I run with.

There. I confessed it; something I've never put into words before. What's my point? Well, fast forward to this year.

I'm in Houston. In south texas. But even so, at my job, there are very few African Americans at my job. Oh, we have minorities. Lots of asians of various nationalities, a guy with a beautiful irish accent and one girl who came (literally) straight from Russia. But very few African Americans. I can't even think of one that I work directly with. Odd, considering I'm in Houston, huh?

Then there's my school. Tiny Houston seminary. Imagine the culture shock when I walked into class on the first day and realized that I was one of 2 euro-americans in my first class - and there were 9 African Americans. It's not just the class, either. It's the student body. I walk down the hall and pass a group of 3 African Americans chatting in the hallway. I sit in the study and there are two African American girls studying with me. At first, I'll be honest. It was very unsettling. It still is. I feel like a fish out of water. There's an atmosphere that I'm not familiar with, in all of my years in the educational system. An openness. And as an insecure, uncertain, introverted young woman, it's not easy to grow accustomed to it.

Well, a semester has passed and I can't help but look back on my experiences. I walked into class yesterday and felt safe admitting that I was a little tired when someone asked me how I was doing. One woman, who I didn't know, insisted that I come out to the party that another class was throwing and there I saw a classmate from another class, who came up and gave me a hug, just to say high. And later, when several of us were talking, one classmate stopped to ask me if I was feeling okay, because I was being quiet. And yes, all of these are African Americans.

I don't know how else to explain it. I know that a large part of this welcomeness is the fact that this is a Christian university, where we are all studying to further pursue our journey of faith. We come together not just as classmates, but as Christians. But I also think that that bond of faith, when combined with the African American culture of extroversion (is that a word?), is part of what has made this semester so special to me.

I mean, come on. When a classmate that you don't know outside of class gives you a hug just because you ran into them in the hallway... that's not just a special sign that you are accepted. That's a big huge warm fuzzy is what it is. ;)

Thomas' Devotional

At the beginning of the semester, we signed up to do devotionals in my psychotherapy class and my devotional was scheduled for last night. I had spent months brainstorming what I wanted to say and then revising it, editing it in my mind, before finally writing it all out. Even so, it was different than most devotionals (let's just say it dipped closer to the faith vs. science debate than I usually like to go) and it could easily have been seen as controversial. I was very anxious about it, but I used it anyway. I started with a disclaimer that no one was expected to agree with anything I said, but that hopefully my words would get them to think a little about the topic.

The devotional went okay; I stumbled over a few spots and I rushed through other spots, and I was nervous, and I didn't dare look to my professor, whose opinion I was most worried about. But I made it through and no one seemed read to take me out back or burn me for heresy. So, it was over and I relaxed.

During break, however, my professor stopped me in the hallway. He told me that my devotional was really good, that he really liked it and that I should publish it.

... wha-huh? I was astounded. Umm... okay. Cool. :)

When I told my mom about my devotional experience, she asked to read it. Her response? "You are amazing." Yeah, or not. I really don't think it was that great. I mean, I liked it, but it's not for everyone. However, here it is if anyone is interested. And keep in mind, I wrote it out in the way that I expected to say it aloud.

John 20:24-29

Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"

But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."


Most of you know that I have a background in science, and this Bible verse has always stuck with me as just a little odd. Okay be honest now, if any of you had a friend come up and tell you that your dead teacher had risen, what would your first reaction be? Exodus 23:1 even says specifically, "Do not spread false reports," which I think could be easily translated into "Do not gossip." And here Thomas is, asking for proof. What's wrong with that? Well, I'd like to offer a couple thoughts that will hopefully shed some light on this contradiction.

I am a member of a forum for scientists. I don't really participate anymore, but I do still keep up on what's going on there. And periodically, someone will present a study or an article that they've found and they'd like input on. Whenever this happens, I've noticed that the reaction is always the same. The members of the forum will always ask one question before any other: "Can I get to the source?"

So often, we find articles on CNN.com or other major news moguls that discuss a study that was preformed by some mysterious set of scientists in some mysterious lab. As a scientist, it is our duty not to interpret this story-of-a-study, but to look at the original study, written by the scientists themselves. It's like playing a game of telephone - in the scientific community, it's a bad thing. You've got to get the information from the source.

I think of this and I compare it to Thomas. Kind of looks similar, doesn't it? Thomas doesn't even accuse his friends of being liars or lunatics. He gives them a stipulation. He says, "Sorry, guys, I gotta have some proof."

So, if Thomas is thinking logically, AND following the laws of the Torah by not getting caught up in unverified gossip, why does Jesus criticize him?

To answer, or at least, address that question, I'd like to share something I learned in my introductory Biology class. Our professor was an amazing teacher, a great person and a devout Christian. And she was determined that we would know and understand the difference between having faith and studying science by the time we left her class. She wasn't kidding around, either - that lecture took up 2 months of the semester, and the essay question was half of our final exam. One thing that stuck with me about the lesson is this:

"Science is based on the concept that there are no testable absolute truths." But: "Faith is built on one or more absolute truths."

Let's start with Science real quick. "Science is based on the concept that there are no testable absolute truths."

Testable is the key word, here. In science, a fact is a statement or equation that has been tested repeatedly until finally the scientific community just agrees to accept the fact - until someone disproves it. Even then, in "disproving" the fact, we discover the exception to the rule that helps us better understand what we are studying.

My favorite example of this is the atom. The word atom comes from the Greek word a-tomos, which means 'indivisible'. Ancient Greek philosophers argued about the question of whether matter could be divided up forever, or if there was a smallest particle that could not be divided any further. In the late 1800's, we "discovered" the atom - of which there are many different types, of course. How totally cool, that we could prove what the Greek Philosophers only hypothesized about - a set of indivisible particles that made up all matter.

You hear the but coming, right?

Yeah, fast forward to 1938 - we split the atom. We split the indivisible atom. Problem? It's not indivisible anymore. But, does that mean that atoms - oxygen and carbon and hydrogen and nitrogen, are no longer the building blocks of matter? No. It just means that what we accepted a hard and fast rule, was obviously not so absolute. And, this is the perfect example of how science works. We paint a picture of how we interpret the world and in time we have to alter the picture to slip in changes and new discoveries.

So, to recap? "Science is based on the concept that there are no testable absolute truths."

"Faith, however, is built on one or more absolute truths." Let me repeat that: "Faith is built upon one or more absolute truths."

No ifs, ands or butts. Every faith, every religion, is built upon one or more absolute truths. For us, one of the biggest ones is that Christ is Emmanuel who died for our sins. It's an absolute in our faith. Everything builds on top of that. It cannot be questioned if it's the foundation.

Does this mean that science and faith are incompatible? No. My physics professor once stated that science helps us understand the "who, what, where, when and how." Faith, or religion, tells us the "why." I like to say that "Faith and science question in different directions so that they can answer different questions." Science helps us understand what causes so many different species of butterflies look almost identical. Faith teaches us who we are, why we are, and what our purpose is.

So, real quick, let's revisit John:

"Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

What I'd like to leave you with is an idea that Jesus might have been, in his own way, correcting Thomas' misconception about where his faith lies. "You can't prove Me, because I am an absolute. I am the way, the truth and the light. Peter might be the rock upon which I will be My church, but I'm the foundation beneath the rock. Everything starts with God. Everything starts right here." Is it little wonder that we refer to God as Alpha and Omega? Not just the beginning and end of the universe, but of our journey of faith. We start with Christ as our absolute and we go from there. And because Christ is our starting point, it is the one thing that we have to take, forgive the pun, on faith.

Let us pray.

Oh, precious Father, God of our hearts. Continue to anchor us in our faith. You are the absolute in whose hands we rest. And as we gather here to study, I pray that your spirit will reside in us, because the lessons we learn and the understanding we gain will be worth less than nothing if we do not also keep an unconditional love for Your children in our hearts. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

In This Week's Captive Hearts...

Here you have a group of people trying to rebuild the High Temple in time for the Festival of Faith and the High Priest's marriage. When one of the windows breaks the night before the wedding, the master craftsman is devastated.

Lars studies the High preist intently, "We will pick up and move on." He says, echoing Ashton's words, "But you'll have a window before I leave. I just wanted to have it perfect for you... for Solarus, on the wedding day."

Ashton smiles and looks up at where the others are picking up the pieces. "You know... you'll think me crazy, but I wonder if it isn't better this way."

Lars blinks, "It... better?" He is almost shocked.

The High Priest chuckles. "Yes. To make our vows before the gods in a sanctuary that isn't quite finished. It should remind us that our work, our lives, are never quite finished. It's that unfinished corner of our lives that gives our lives purpose, and gives us room to grow."

These scene nigged at me for a bit. Even though I was playing the High Priest, I felt like I wasn't quite expressing the gut that I was feeling. I imagined a new church being built. In one possible scenario, you have the church built, finished, polished and presented for the perfect grand opening. The congregation steps in, ooh and ahhs and the church is chistened. In another scenario, you have the congregation coming together in a church that isn't quite finished. They are meeting outside or in the fellowship hall until the sanctuary is complete. Am I the only one for whom the second scenario feels... more wholesome? More right? And why?

This question took me some time and contemplation to address, but I think part of the difference is where the focus is. In the first scenario, you picture a church being built, and then calling the people to it. In the second, a congregation are coming together, and in their presence, the church is built. Where's your focus, the building or the people in it?* When you "christen" the sanctuary, are you bringing people in to express awe for the beautiful construct that you've built, or are you bringing together the congregation whose hearts and hands and money have helped build the building?

Anyway, just a little musing that I felt like posting. Reply if you feel like it, or if you have another take on it.

*The first focus should, of course, be God, but who is going to worship God? The people or the building?

The sins of childbirth?

Edit: We discussed this in class and it was very enlightening. I no longer have the questions that I had upon reading it the first time.

There's no school this week (none last week either) because of Ike, so I'm doing my best to stay caught up on all the readings from the last 2 weeks. Today I'm reading next week's assignment from the old testament: Leviticus, Numbers & Deuteronomy. I just came across this passage and it's troubling me.

Leviticus 12
Purification After Childbirth

1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Say to the Israelites: 'A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. 3 On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. 4 Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. 5 If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.

6 " 'When the days of her purification for a son or daughter are over, she is to bring to the priest at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting a year-old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a dove for a sin offering. 7 He shall offer them before the LORD to make atonement for her, and then she will be ceremonially clean from her flow of blood.

" 'These are the regulations for the woman who gives birth to a boy or a girl. 8 If she cannot afford a lamb, she is to bring two doves or two young pigeons, one for a burnt offering and the other for a sin offering. In this way the priest will make atonement for her, and she will be clean.' "

Okay, first of all, I realize that I need to take this text in context - it comes from ancient times when the culture was very different. Never the less, I think it's fair to point out when something about the reading troubles me.

...I guess my issue is that up until now, all of the "sins" and "uncleanly" issues involve actions that humans take, mistakes they make, wrongs they perform against God or their neighbor. But this... childbirth is natural. And if it was just a matter of a woman remaining "unclean", I would be able to pass it off as, culturally, in those times, women gave birth away from camp so that the blood didn't contaminate the camp. But at the end, it actually implies that she has sinned. Sinned? By giving birth? Excuse me? "Forgive me lord, for I have sinned - I have given my husband a son"?!

So, that's my issue. Now I'm going to set it asside and continue reading.

A First Post

I'm Christian, was raised Christian, am a devoted Christian. I try to live a Christian life, but I know I trip and fall on my face often. I'm saying that to make a point that this statement is not supposed to imply that I'm proud of my Christianity. Living as a Christian is hard and I'm not always good at it. So, there you go: disclaimer given.

I'm also a fan of fantasy. I've fallen in love with all of the Christian Fantasy that's become available in the past few years, but before that any of us who were lovers of fantasy in addition to our faith were left with separating our reading from our faith. I guess that's why they call it "fantasy" – it's another world, disconnected, not real. And that never sat well with me. Like children's movies – Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, etc – I have always believed that there is always something you can learn. You can connect with characters, learn from them and have your mind opened to perspectives other than your own. And the best way to do that is to look at a story that is so very different from your own life – like fantasy stories. For example, I'm one of those people who not only thinks that reading Harry Potter in NO way teaches a child to pursue witchcraft, but also believes that there are so many lessons to be learned from Harry Potter, even for Christians. Not the least of which is learning to love reading.

So, that brings me to my story. My FANTASY story. Well, okay, it's not just mine. Ladyreason and I have been working on it for years. I won't go into all of it, because there's one part that I've been thinking about for a long while, and that is our faith system in this world. Our world is overseen by four gods – Lunos (moon), Solarus (sun), Aquios (water) and Vulcos (earth). Lunos and Vulcos are female, Solarus and Aquios are male. Lunos and Solarus have been consorts forever; Aquios and Vulcos used to be consorts until they got into an epic argument and are just starting to make up. But for the most part, Lunos is our primary god(dess), followed by Solarus.

Now, here's where things get a bit philosophical, so bear with me.

I believe, have always believed, that by looking at these four gods, especially Lunos and Solarus, we can see vital and very special parts of God the Father. Solarus is the obvious connection, but what about Lunos? I remember hearing a sermon on Mother's day a few years back that talked a bit about the virgin mother. No, I'm not Catholic, so this was an unusual topic and a very interesting one. One that I made a lot of connections to. Now hold that thought and let me add another idea.

Night. Darkness. Evil, right? That's what our cultures always seem to believe. It's just in our psyche that darkness represents danger. But it goes the other way, too. You'll remember that Christ wasn't born in the middle of the afternoon. Without darkness, without the unknown, where would the miracles be? And it is in our darkest times that we are carried by God. When I was having the hardest times in my life, I could close my eyes and I had this mental picture of God wrapping His arms around me and just holding me. And I don’t know about you all, but that's something my mother would do when I was a little girl. So, when you think about it, at the darkest points in our lives, God is pretty good about holding us close, supporting us, loving us unconditionally, just like a mother.

Thus is where I made the connection with our story. It's why Lunos, our god of the night, is a female. A mother. She is protective and loving and compassionate. She is actually the goddess of the moon which, while not as bright as the sun, shines brightly at night when we need the light to guide our footsteps. She is, to look at it another way, the essence of hope.

If you can't tell from all that, I'll tell you that I love Lunos. She's one of my favorite characters in our story. And yet I know that if I were to mention this story to my more traditional Christian friends or colleagues, I'd get criticized. You know, thou shalt not have any gods before me? But, when I think about Lunos, I feel like I am seeing a very special and very important part of God. She is just one of God's many faces. So… where's the line? She's not pulling me away from God, but rather bringing me closer to an understanding of how much God loves me.

I guess, maybe I'm just too concerned with what other people would think. But it does bother me to know that if I made a really close friend, I couldn’t mention this story without them judging me and my faith by it. When, in contrast, this story has actually helped me crystallize my faith.

Okay, I'm done rambling. I'm curious if any of you think less of me after reading all that. Does this make me a heretic? I don’t think so. And… I guess that's all that matters.