Cross Culture Conflicts: Science, Politics and ADHD

NOTE: This brainsplat of mine is aimed at a couple different audiences. But I've written it all together here. I'll post pieces of it elsewhere in approapriate settings

In studying for my cross-cultural counseling midterm, I've been reading over Duane Elmer's Cross-Cultural Conflict. There are a couple of (random) connections that I've made and I'll admit that I'm not comfortable with most of them. But, nevertheless, they are lessons to be learned, I think.

The Cross-Cultural Conflicts Between Religion and Science:

One comment I found intriguing (and that holds no little amount of wisdom) is Elmer's point that westerners (that is, people living in the "western world" like the US and Europe), are so often driven to understand In studying for my cross-cultural counseling midterm, I've been reading over Duane Elmer's Cross-Cultural Conflict. There are a couple of connections that I've made and I'll admit that I'm not comfortable with most of them. But, nevertheless, they are lessons to be learned, I think.

One comment I found intriguing (and that holds no little amount of wisdom) is Elmer's point that westerners (that is, people living in the "western world" like the US and Europe), are more often driven to have black and white answers than other cultures.

"The Western mind finds particular delight in providing answers to questions. An unanswered question is scandalous, so the mind quickly supplies its own answer from its own form of logic, its own cultural assumptions and its own value system." (Elmer, 1984)

In this quote, I couldn't help remembering the recent "debate" that I have had with my close Christian friends about creation vs. evolution. In that debate, and in so many others that I have heard, it seems to me that the largest issue is that these black and white Christians aren't willing to accept that science isn't supposed to know everything. "It's just a theory." "You can't prove anything." Trying to correct their misassumptions about how science works is like… worse than pulling teeth. And it doesn't help that in the scientific community, it is a big no-no to state anything with absolute certainty. That is a view that scientists take seriously, they live the idea that they are looking for answers - not necessarily finding them. Suddenly, I think I understand why this debate has gone on for so long - it's not a case of a different language (as I used to think). It's a case of a different culture - a different world view!

Winning and Losing in a Cross-Cultural Setting

A little bit later, Elmer talks about how different types of people handle conflict in the western world. His description of the win-lose type really dug at me, for a couple of reasons.

"Win-lose people assume that everything should be seen as right or wrong. They have a very small "gray" area and tend not to be very flexible or even willing to negotiate. Everything must be judged as right or wrong, even obvious differences; thus it follows that everything that is "like me" will be judged as right and everything "unlike me" will be judged as wrong. Such people have little tolerance for ambiguity. Right and wrong must be determined as quickly as possible so one knows how to treat the matter or the person." (Elmer 1984)

I made two connections with this quote, but they really both begin with the elections. During the recently 2008 presidential elections, race was a big factor. Perhaps not for everyone. I know it was not a deciding factor for me. I know it was not a deciding factor for white friends who voted for either side. As for blacks, I honestly don’t know. I don’t have enough black friends to ask. But I do remember the news story about black women who were being ostracized for supporting McCain. Did it go the other way? Probably. Are there socio-economic reasons for the way most of the black population voted? I have no doubt about it. My point is that while we can't stereotype how blacks and whites vote or how the elections came out (nor do I care to), there is no doubt that the view we got from the media most certainly did that.

Now, with that in mind, think about how many African Americans view Obama's presidency as a "victory" specifically for them. And remember how competitive our culture is. The celebrations that the media showed after the elections put some of the largest Superbowl parties to shame! The Superbowl is a competitive sport. It's win-lose. The presidential elections should not be, and yet I must confess that there are times after the elections when I would hear an African American say something about it being "their" victory, it would rub me the wrong way.

The only reason I'm bringing this up is that this topic sort of came up in class a couple months back. One of the other few whites in my class commented that he had seen an African American woman wearing a shirt with Obama on the front and the words "MLK Jr's dream has come true," and my classmate admitted that he wasn't offended, but he was frustrated, because to him, this woman didn't understand what the dream was about. The 2/3rds of our class made up of African American women, however, immediately informed him that she most certainly DID understand what MLK's dream meant. And we learned the lesson about how misunderstandings persisted among cultures and moved on with the class lesson. But that conversation has bothered me because I am very much on my white classmate's side.

It has taken me some time to figure out why, and I think this quote from Elmer finally cinched it for me. The shirt - the idea of victory - means something different to blacks than it does to whites. In our western white culture, if you win it means that your opponent has lost. And if you show it off excessively, then you are rubbing it in. Did any of you play soccer as children? Do you remember the chant you yelled at the beginning and ending of each game? "2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate?" Then you'd yell out the name of the other team. Then at the end of the game, you'd run down the line, slapping everyone's hands and telling them "good game". Our culture might be a competitive, individualistic one, but we are still taught how important it is to honor and respect our opponent. We are taught to be happy for other people's successes, true, but there is also such thing as a "poor winner". The catch is that I think the concept of what a "poor winner" is is very different in the western cultures from the African American cultures. I'm not saying that either side is wrong. Just that it has helped me to understand why they are different, and I think it is important for us all to understand how those differences can lead to anger and hurt and hard feelings.

Why I Hate Politics

Now, for my second connection to the elections, or more specifically, politics. I won't go into it in dept, because I've already ranted a little bit. But there are people who are so politically entrenched that they'll take every available opportunity to insult the other side and to lecture to people who have never once argued with them - as if just to hear themselves talk. It's… getting tiring, to be honest. But they are my friends and I love them. Even if I am taking notes on how NOT to raise my children…

ADHD: Individualistic or Collectivistic?

Lastly, I have one more connection to throw out. And this one is more of a ponderance (new word, hee!), a question.

Among the types of conflict resolves, Elmer also discusses the one who "gives in" and the one who "compromises" (two different types). Elmer describes giving in as someone who might admit that he or she can see the other person's point of view, and he describes the compromiser as someone who believes that every conversation should be settled by compromise - in which no one goes home happier than the others (this is not, according to Elmer, the same as a win-win conclusion).

Now, my thoughts have turned to ADHD. In 4 Weeks to an Organized Life with ADHD (a great book, by the way!), the authors talk about how the ADHD mind is uniquely capable of seeing the world from all directions and in the same way, seeing situations from all points of view. This makes them gifted counselors and very empathic, but makes it very hard for them to take a side in many arguments. Wow. Does that describe anyone else? Here I am getting a degree in Christian Counseling, but I can't even take a stand on most political controversies.

Which leads me to a very odd question - Does ADHD have more weight here in the individualistic part of the world than it would in other collectivistic cultures? Let me back up by describing a question that Elmer poses at the beginning of an earlier chapter: Which is the worse sin - lying or losing your temper?

Well? I'm curious what your reactions are. Which is worse?

I thought about it, and the counselor in me knew that sometimes you can't be entirely honest. But you DO have to be respectful of other people's feelings, so losing your temper would be worse. What was your answer? Now, imagine my surprise when Elmer explained that most people in the western world would saying lying is worse because our individualistic culture puts an emphasis on truth. But the other 2/3rds of the world puts an emphasis on relationships, so losing your temper is worse, because it could cause a schism between the relationship.

I think you can all imagine where I am going with this. Does ADHD actually fit better into a relationship-focused culture? On the one hand, I know I am not the only one who has trouble with relationships, but how much of that is because of the individualistic demands that our culture places on those relationships? How many of our troubles with relationships are because of physical actions that we forget to take or things we lose versus how many are because we spoke out of turn or performed a relational taboo? I honestly don't know. It's something I'm going to have to think about.